/ 93 comments

The Only Mean Girl In My Life Is My Ego

Hey there! So I posted this on my Instagram a while back and I really felt like it was a valuable perspective when doing some…

by  [email protected]

Hey there!

So I posted this on my Instagram a while back and I really felt like it was a valuable perspective when doing some inner work in regards to the ego.

The ego is something I began diving into after I read ‘The Power of Now’ by Eckhart Tolle.

The way that I’ve begun to define my ego is pretty straightforward: It is a self-created identity.

It’s that little voice inside my head that tells me things like:

“You’re too fat to wear that.”

“You’ll never be good at this.”

“You’re better than that person.”

“You should feel happy/sad/grateful/mad.”

“You’re a horrible writer and no one will ever care what you have to say.”

My personal favorite is when I try something new and she screams:

“HEY, REMEMBER THAT LAST TIME YOU TRIED SOMETHING NEW AND TOTALLY SUCKED AT IT?! This is going to be just like that time – except worse!” 

Ugh.

You know EXACTLY what voice I’m talking about.

The scary thing is, sometimes we’re so used to hearing her that we actually listen to it and take her into consideration when making decisions. This only fuels her fire.

But no need to fear – the simplest way to shut her up is to become AWARE of when she’s speaking to you.

The next time you feel yourself doubting a new project or job that you took on – take a moment to pause and listen to that voice.

Chances are, you’re more than qualified for that new job or are creative enough to take on that new project. Whatever she’s telling you – she’s wrong.

Tell her that Bree said so.

No… but really, take a moment to rationalize whatever negative or doubtful thought you’re having. She hates that.

Anyway, I kind of want to do some more posts on the ego because I think it really is an important factor to look at when you’re trying to improve your mindset.

Now here is that Instagram post that I promised.

I honestly thought the ego was just some lyrics in a Beyonce song.

Ok, not really.

But I didn’t begin to explore what the ego was or even discover my own ego until recently and Wowza….it has truly been life changing.

My ego is like Regina George from Mean Girls; manipulative, condescending and just straight up rude. On a daily basis, I confront my ego through meditation and it can be fucking terrifying. It’s undeniably the darkest part of myself and I used to feel an immense amount of shame for its existence. (Until I realized that literally, everyone has an ego – regardless if they acknowledge it or not)

I went to a guided meditation the other day where the teacher asked us: “When has the ego ever served you? When has the ego ever supported your goals or dreams? When has your ego ever comforted you? It hasn’t, yet you continue to serve it all of your energy. You serve it your best and it just spits it right back up. It’s never going to be satisfied.”

This resonated with me on so many levels. I’m not good at feeling satisfied or even content. I used to take a great amount of pride in never being satisfied because I thought it was my just my drive to succeed when in reality, it’s just my ego playing tricks. I never give myself the opportunity, not even a second, to just sit and be satisfied + grateful with the life that I’ve created for myself.

So that’s just something I’ve been working on by being mindful and grateful for each moment.

If you’re curious about where I stand with my ego….well she’s still there. She pulls up every day and says “Get in loser, we’re going shopping.” And I have to do my best to say “You can’t sit with us.”

Ps. Unfortunately, I don’t know who the talented original artist is for the image. If you do, or it’s you please reach out to me so I can give you proper credit!

93 comments

  2. When someone gives me an unsolicited opinion, attempts to argue with me or say something that I don’t like, I reply with “thank you for your perspective.” I catch myself doing that also with my own doubting voice. It kind of quiets it quickly. 🙂

    Reply

  4. I’ve read that book too and as I don’t believe you can separate your mind from yourself and tell it not to tell you what to do, sometimes it’s good simply to shut it up 😉

    Reply

  5. This post is so eyes-opening to me. We often forget how important is our attitude towards things, and that we truly have the power to do the opposite “that voice” tells us to do. Keep fighting it!

    Reply

  6. Such a great post and so well written. I love the imagery. It is so important to push that ego aside if she’s nothing but negative self-talk. When she learns to speak positively then she’s allowed back at the table. LOL thanks for sharing.

    Reply

  7. I believe we teach people how to treat us. It’s important to be kind to ourselves and then we expect others to be kind to us to — if they aren’t — we can walk away

    Reply

  10. it’s kind of scary how self destructive our inner ego can be right? that little voice is supposed to be our friend but man oh man it gets us sometimes! the beauty of getting older is learning how to ignore it or whip it into shape!

    Reply

  12. You really need to get rid of her! She’s no good for you! Every time you hear her tell her she’s wrong and you’re going to do what you want to regardless… After awhile her voice will get quieter. Bree youre amazing. Don’t let anyone,not even your subconscious, tell you otherwise.

    Reply

  13. Loved this post…I’m sure this can serve as a helpful remind to all to be kind to ourselves! The mind is a powerful thing! Our lives are a reflection of our thoughts!

    Reply

  14. I’ve just started to read ‘The Power Of Now’ and am asking myself similar questions about the ego. Also, constantly learning how to be more mindful, observing my thoughts and catch them when ego takes over.

    Reply

  15. This is such a great reminder that we should work hard to keep our own self-doubt at bay. Being satisfied with who we are is so important when it comes to achieving the goals of our lives.

    Reply

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